Whether you're queer, trans, nonbinary, neurodivergent, a person of color, disabled, or just plain tired of having to explain yourself at every appointment (we feel you), you deserve healthcare that affirms who you are.
And we don’t mean healthcare that’s just average or “not terrible.” We mean providers who use your pronouns without blinking. Who ask questions instead of making assumptions. Who respect your boundaries, your body, and your identity, even if it's not listed in a drop-down menu.
An affirming healthcare provider doesn’t just tolerate your identity. They respect it, reflect it in their care, and create an environment where you can show up fully as yourself. That might mean:
Affirming care means you leave your appointment feeling supported, not erased. Here’s an example of what that looks like in real life.
“I had minor surgery recently, and when the anesthetist came into the room before my op to talk to me, the first thing he asked me was my pronouns,” says Alex, who is nonbinary. “I really appreciated that he didn’t ask me my ‘preferred’ pronouns, because my pronouns aren’t what I ‘prefer’, they’re what I use and what other people should use. He didn’t treat it like it was a big deal – he confirmed my name and birth date, then asked my pronouns and wrote them down on the form and continued with the chat about anesthetic. It was such a relief that this interaction was so matter-of-fact and I didn’t have to explain anything.”
There are some fantastic online tools made for the community, by the community. Fire up your trusty search engine and look up “affirming healthcare providers” and see what pops up near you. Your local LGBTQ+ center or community health organisation may also have a list of providers in your area. Here are a few to get you started (US-based):
These directories let you filter by location and specialty, whether you're looking for a GP, a dentist, a therapist, or someone who won’t raise an eyebrow when you say you’re nonbinary, in a poly relationship, or don’t want to be weighed today.
A provider’s website can tell you a lot. Look for:
Word of mouth still rules. Ask friends, group chats, campus orgs, Facebook groups, or Reddit threads if they know a provider who gets it. Local LGBTQ+ centers and mutual aid networks often keep their own lists, and they’re usually more up-to-date than what you’ll find on Google.
It’s annoying to have to call, but it’s better than sitting through a cringeworthy appointment. You can say something like:
The way they answer – or don’t – will tell you a lot.
If you have a hard time making these phone calls, ask a trusted friend or relative to make the call for you and report back, or send an email to the provider. You can write down ahead of time the thing you want to know. Sometimes seeing the answers in writing is easier to process than listening to someone tell you over the phone.
If a provider repeatedly misgenders you, ignores your boundaries, or brushes off your concerns, you do not have to stay. You can switch. You can speak up. You can report them. And you are completely within your rights to want better. We know this is difficult in the current climate - healthcare seems to be permanently in crisis - but if you have the spoons, please vote with your feet.
Healthcare should be a place of care, not correction, confusion, or dismissal. An affirming provider isn’t a bonus. It’s the baseline. And you deserve one who respects your identity just as much as your symptoms. Good health starts with feeling safe. Go find the people who make that possible.
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