In this era of swipes and situationships, it's easy to fall into the trap of ambiguous dating. But here's the twist: Even if you're not seeking a long-term commitment, approaching dating with intention can lead to more fulfilling and respectful connections. While a lot of the info out there has to do with intentional dating leading to commitment, let’s take a step back and see how the same principles can apply to casual dating – and actually, to just about every kind of relationship, casual or not.
Dating with intent isn't about rushing into a relationship or mapping out your future on the first date. It's about being clear with yourself and others about what you're looking for, be it a serious partnership, casual companionship, or something in between. This clarity helps in setting expectations and boundaries, reducing misunderstandings and emotional turmoil. And the principles of intentional dating – self-awareness, clear communication, and mutual respect – are beneficial across the dating spectrum. The most important thing is clarity of purpose.
Intentional dating aligns with psychological principles that promote healthier relationships. Here's a bit about those.
Understanding your own needs and desires is crucial. Therapist Andrea Crapanzano emphasizes that dating with intent “isn’t about finding a ‘perfect’ partner – it’s about gaining clarity, recognizing what aligns with your values, and developing the emotional intelligence needed for meaningful connections.”
Clear communication about intentions prevents misunderstandings. It ensures that both parties are on the same page, fostering trust and respect.
Being emotionally ready to engage in any form of relationship is essential. Jumping into dating without addressing past wounds can lead to repeating unhealthy patterns.
In an article for Simply Psychology, Saul McLeod says, “Dating with intention is about quality connections, not playing games or rushing against the clock.” And this is especially important when it comes to hookups or casual dating – if you know what you’re into and why, things will go a lot smoother for everyone involved.
Casual dating doesn't equate to careless dating, or just doing whatever you want without regard for other people’s feelings or needs and wants. Approaching casual relationships with intent means:
· Setting boundaries: Discussing and agreeing upon the nature of the relationship helps prevent future conflicts.
· Honesty: Being upfront about your intentions allows both parties to make informed decisions about their involvement.
· Respect: Even in non-committed relationships, treating each other with respect is non-negotiable.
Relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch says, “Casual dating allows individuals to explore their likes and dislikes, learn about themselves, and potentially find what they want in a more serious relationship.” Amen to that.
Embracing intentionality in dating can lead to reduced anxiety, because clarity in intentions minimizes the stress of uncertainty. You might also experience better self-esteem – knowing and expressing your needs confidently can boost your feelings of self-worth and your perception of yourself. And intentional dating fosters healthier and more satisfying connections, whether casual or committed, so you (and other people involved) will ultimately have better experiences when you’re dating.
The bottom line is, approaching relationships with intent enriches your experiences. It's about respecting yourself and others, communicating openly, and making conscious choices that align with your values and desires. Intentionality isn’t about the type of relationship you pursue – it’s about how you pursue it.
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