Dating

How to: Write the perfect dating app profile

By Danielle Simpson-Baker aka The Sexpot Therapist

Like everything else technology has touched, dating has transformed into a game of convenience. We scroll, match, unmatch, and scroll again in hopes of finding the one... Or the one who’ll do for now.

As we click more and more quickly on potential mates, it’s safe to say that first impressions have never been more powerful and important. Your bio could make or break a potential match, which is why it’s important to actually put effort into crafting the perfect bio. Just like dating has become quick and convenient, your bio should offer a quick and convenient insight into who you are and why someone should hone in on your profile.

So what makes up the perfect bio? I asked some dating app users to find out what exactly a bio needs in order to guarantee a match. Readon to find out what they said!

1. Try to come up with a catchy opening.

That doesn’t mean a cheesy pickup line, though that is an option if it’s not too cheesy. But the opening line is your first chance to catch a potential match’s eye, and a chance to show your personality! If you can’t come up with something panty-droppingly catchy, don’t worry and don’t force it – it's more important to be yourself and show the dating world who you are!

2. Keep it cute and concise!

Remember, this needs to be a quick and convenient taste of who you are, not the whole meal. You want to be authentic and original, so maybe go easy on movie/TV show quotes and focus more on letting your personality shine through. Also, try not to write an essay, maybe no more than a paragraph or two. Keep in mind, you’re just giving an intro to your personality, so it’s okay to condense it into to a few sentences. Try to focus on the things that are most important to you, like what you’re passionate about and what you’re looking for on the app. Use humor, mention your politics (fundamental values are important whether the relationship is casual or not), and be creative! And remember, It's okay to let your matches wonder about you a little – that will give you more to talk about when you finally do match!

3. In! Clude! Pictures!

I cannot stress this enough. When polled, about 55% of people agreed that a good bio is more important than perfect pictures, but 83% said that they’d ignore a profile if it had no pictures at all... Even with a perfect bio! Don’t kill your chances before you even get started. Not including a picture just gives “I’m hiding something” vibes... Don’t let this be you.

4. Try to avoid negativity.

I often see a lot of bios that go into detail about how they just got out of a relationship, or their ex cheated and they’re getting even, or they don’t have any friends and they’re just on here to kill time. There’s nothing wrong with being honest, don’t get me wrong. But maybe don’t start off with the worst things that are going on in your life. Save the drama for a little later, once you know the person isn’t going anywhere any time soon. Just don’t give any reason to scare off potential mates. Starting off with negatively can also give the impression that you don’t have much else to talk about; even if that’s not the case, remember... First impressions are key in this dating game!

5. Be upfront!

It's totally okay, and even encouraged, to be super-honest about what you’re looking for on the app. When asked, most people admitted that they prefer for potential matches to be honest about if they’re looking for somethings serious, something casual, or something in between. Of course, don’t make a big deal about the fact that you’re not looking for something serious (like, don’t be a jerk about it), but it saves everyone time to just be honest about your intentions. On top of that, when you’re upfront about what you’re looking for, you’re opening the door to find potential matches that align closest with what you want. Don't attract what you don’t desire!

6. Proofread! Proofread! Then proofread again!

About 80% of those polled said that grammar and spelling matter and could even be a deal-breaker when it comes to choosing a match. Of course, this is NOT the case for everyone (and we don’t like to police how people talk), but it can’t hurt to do a once- or twice-over of your bio just to make sure you’re saying what you think you’re saying. Even the slightest illusion of effort in this area will go a very long way.

So there you have it in a six simple steps! Offer a catchyopening if you can; keep it short and sweet; don’t forget pictures; spare thegory details; be honest about what you’re looking for and check your workbefore submitting! What are some other bio must-haves that have never cost you the match of your dreams?

Danielle Simpson-Baker is a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern in Florida and a Board Certified Sexologist with the American Board of Sexology. Danielle holds an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy and is currently working toward a dual certificate in Sex Therapy and Education. She also runs a sex-positive Instagram page (@thesexpottherapist) that has amassed more than 23,000 followers since its inception in 2018; with that following, Danielle started a virtual sexual wellness clinic called Sex(pot) Therapy, LLC. Danielle provides sex therapy, coaching, and consulting, as well as a host of sexual wellness products for every person’s needs!

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