My Bedroom™ just got a lock. Here's why that matters.

Sharing what you want in the bedroom is an intimate act at the best of times. Doing it on a dating app profile is something else entirely – especially for women, it can feel quite vulnerable and brave. It's something our team has been thinking carefully about for a while.

My Bedroom™ has been part of HUD App since 2019. It was built to help people find genuine compatibility by being upfront about their desires, and that intention hasn't changed. What has changed is our understanding of what gets in the way of people actually using it.

Putting your desires out there for your matches to see, before any kind of real connection has been established, feels like a lot. It can feel like airing something private in a public space. Especially for women, who already navigate a particular kind of scrutiny on dating apps, that visibility can feel uncomfortable. And even though My Bedroom™ has always been editable (you can change your preferences in there any time you want), something about making it visible to the world can feel like a declaration you can't take back. We understand that, and we've taken it seriously.

So we've added a lock, and you're the only one with the key.

The new My Bedroom™ update lets you toggle your desires to private, making them visible only to people you've already matched with. It's a small change mechanically, but what it opens up feels significant to us. A match is a moment of mutual acknowledgment, a connection that goes both ways. Sharing your desires within that context feels very different to broadcasting them to everyone who happens to land on your profile. The information is the same, but the dynamic is completely different. And that matters! Especially to women and gender-diverse people.

Beyond the privacy benefit, what we find most exciting about this change is that it gives our users space for self-reflection and exploration. When you're not worried about who might be looking, you can actually take your time with the feature. You can read through the desires at your own pace, sit with the ones you're unfamiliar with, learn what they mean, and ask yourself honestly whether they resonate. You can explore without the pressure of an audience, without committing to anything until you're good and ready.

That kind of private, unhurried self-reflection is something we believe in, particularly for women, who have historically been told what they want rather than given space to discover it for themselves. My Bedroom™ was always meant to be a tool for self-knowledge as much as a compatibility signal. The lock makes that possible in a way it wasn't before, and we think that's a meaningful change.

A couple of other things worth knowing. My Bedroom™ has never been compulsory, and it never will be. It's a feature we believe in deeply, and we want people to use it, but only when it feels right for them. If your My Bedroom™ is currently empty, potential matches can send you a nudge to let you know they're interested in finding out more, and if you decide to fill it out, they'll be notified. The whole thing moves at your pace.

We've also added six new Desires, intentionally softer in tone, because we want to be clear that this feature isn't designed for a narrow audience. Sexuality and desire exist on a wide spectrum, and we want every part of that spectrum to feel at home here. My Bedroom™ isn't about whips and chains (unless you're into that, of course). It's about knowing yourself, communicating openly, and finding people who are compatible with who you are.

My Bedroom™ is yours. Lock it, unlock it, fill it out slowly, change it as you learn more about yourself. We're just here to make sure the space feels safe enough to be honest in.