Red and green flags on dating apps

With dating apps as popular as ever, it’s important to know the signs that point to potential connections or warnings. Whether you’re swiping for something casual or seeking something long-term, paying attention to red and green flags can save you time, heartache, and even frustration.

Green flags to look for

1. Clear intentions: Profiles that openly communicate what the person is looking for - whether it’s a serious relationship, casual dating, or just friendship - are a great sign. When someone knows what they want, it sets a solid foundation for honest interaction.
2. Respectful boundaries: If they’re respectful of your response time and don’t expect immediate replies, it shows they’re grounded and understanding. Similarly, they’re open to pacing that feels natural for both of you.
3. Genuine interests: Profiles with specific hobbies, passions, or quirky details offer a hint of authenticity. Someone sharing their love for camping, their favorite book, or a niche hobby is usually more open to being themselves than someone with a generic profile.
4. Consistent communication: Healthy conversation patterns - where there’s a give-and-take - signal that they’re invested and interested in getting to know you. It’s a green flag if they ask questions about you and listen to your responses.
5. Multiple photos: A profile with more than one picture is usually a green flag. It shows they’re willing to give you a fuller sense of who they are, rather than hiding behind a single, heavily filtered shot. More photos usually mean more transparency and effort, which are both good signs.

Red flags to be cautious about

1. Vague or empty profiles: Blank profiles, or ones that lack meaningful information, can hint at disinterest or even that they’re just looking for a quick, non-committal interaction. Lack of effort on the profile is often lack of effort in real life.
2. Pushy for personal information or photos: If someone quickly asks for intimate details or photos, consider it a red flag. Healthy relationships are built on respect and take time to grow; rushing intimacy often shows a lack of respect for boundaries.
3. Overly intense or flattering language early on: It can feel nice when someone is into you right away, but beware if the language feels too intense for someone who’s just getting to know you. This can sometimes signal a lack of sincerity or even manipulation tactics.
4. Inconsistent communication patterns: If they ghost periodically or suddenly reappear without a solid reason, it’s a sign they may not be emotionally available. A person who is serious about connecting will show up consistently.

How to keep your color vision sharp

Trusting your gut is key. If something feels off, give yourself permission to step back and reassess. Remember that both red and green flags are there to guide you, so don’t ignore them! You deserve a connection that feels both safe and exciting.

Dating can be fun, even on apps, when you know what to look out for. Take your time, be observant, and let the right colors guide you.

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Danielle Simpson-Baker is a Marriage and Family Therapist in Florida and a Board Certified Sexologist with the American Board of Sexology. Danielle holds an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy and is currently working toward a dual certificate in Sex Therapy and Education. She also runs a sex-positive Instagram page (@thesexpottherapist) that has amassed more than 23,000 followers since its inception in 2018; with that following, Danielle started a virtual sexual wellness clinic called Sex(pot) Therapy, LLC. Danielle provides sex therapy, coaching, and consulting, as well as a host of sexual wellness products for every person’s needs!

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