Dating

Should you use AI to write your dating app profile?

By Katherine

Everyone wants to look good on dating apps - and your profile is what sets you apart from other people. It's a place to show off your personality and interests, share what you have to offer and what you're looking for, and be upfront about your desires and boundaries. In short, your dating app is your "elevator pitch" (does anyone use that phrase anymore?) about yourself, designed to attract people who are like-minded and could be good matches.

But writing your dating app profile is intimidating, we get it. It's hard to write about yourself, and harder still to think of what to share that might be interesting to other people to know. You don't want to put them off but you also don't want to come across as a try-hard. You don't want to give too much away but you want to be authentic. You don't want to open yourself up to hurt or criticism but you want to be open enough to find someone. It's a minefield!

So it's tempting to consider getting a little helping hand from our robot overlords... aka AI. The proliferation of AI writing tools is rocking the world, and with that comes the need for caution and consideration.

The case for AI

When you're nervous about your skills at expressing yourself, AI can help to smooth things out. Plug your info into AI and it will send back a more polished version of what you want to say. It can give you ideas of phrases or words to use which you might not have considered before, or define ideas and concepts that you might not have heard of. AI can also help you to decode other people's profiles, by using it to help you figure out things they might have written that may be unclear to you - although often the best way to know things is to ask directly! But if you're shy, unsure, or unclear, you can find ways to use AI to your advantage.

A note of caution

It's important to remember, though, that AI isn't a human, so you can't rely on it for human-level nuance and interpretation. It's a tool. It can be helpful, but you can't turn your entire dating life over to AI. At some point, when you meet someone and are communicating with them in real time, you're not going to be able to run things through AI before you say them.

The case against AI

Your dating app profile is a reflection of who you are, and while AI-generated words might appear to be well-written and polished - and might use big words or turns of phrase that sound impressive - it's not YOU. It lacks authenticity and that personal touch that are hallmarks of who your unique voice and identity.

Another thing to remember is that AI isn't always accurate and definitely makes mistakes. Consider the current online trend of asking AI if you can make spaghetti with gasoline and the resulting reponses suggesting adding it to the sauce for a spicy kick. Do you really want the equivalent of that to show up somewhere in your dating app profile?

And the privacy implications need to be looked at, too. AI-powered tools collect and analyze personal data to tailor their recommendations and the content they spit out, so you need to take a good look at their privacy policies and consider how comfortable you are with sharing your info for them to mine and use as they see fit.

Last, think about something we've already mentioned - that AI can't speak for you in real life. If you've crafted your profile with AI and you show up as someone completely different on dates, you are going to come across as someone who is inauthentic and falsely representing yourself - a major red flag to your dates.

Ask for help from other humans

Our best advice, whether you're using AI or not, is to ask for other people's feedback on your dating app profile. Craft it, write it, and then ask people you trust to review it and tell you what they think. Then tweak as needed. It can feel awkward to ask people for that level of help, but the people who care about you want the best for you, and know you well enough to be able to tell you whether your profile accurately represents you or not.

Ultimately, the decision depends on how comfortable you are with AI giving you a (virtual) helping hand with writing your profile. It's convenient and quick, and you might think it's easier to let AI do the thinking for you, but it's essential that you balance that with the need for accuracy, authenticity, and honesty. Your dates want to know the real you, not the fake version of you, and being real is how you form and nurture genuine connections.

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