Let’s talk about a dating trend that’s quietly becoming a problem – and not just for love lives, but for trust, authenticity, and actual real-live-human connection.
We’re seeing more and more people using AI to write their dating app bios. Even more concerning? They’re using AI to write their messages to people they've matched with.
It sounds harmless. Efficient, even. Why spend 10 minutes thinking of a flirty opener when a bot can spit one out in 0.8 seconds? Why agonise over what to say when a machine can generate something that sounds vaguely charming and emotionally competent?
But here’s the catch: Using AI to fake connection isn’t connection at all. It’s outsourcing the hard stuff (vulnerability, creativity, presence, authenticity, sensitivity) and replacing it with algorithmic beige.
We’re not anti-AI. (We literally use AI in our own app – for good reasons, and with guardrails.)
The problem is when people use AI to make themselves seem more thoughtful, witty, or emotionally available than they actually are. It’s not augmenting your personality, it’s masking it. And that’s not just unfair to the person you’re messaging. It’s setting yourself up for a crash the moment you actually meet.
The most common complaints we hear from users sound like this:
Yeah. You were. One of them was AI. The other… Well, probably hadn’t thought beyond the emoji selection screen.
Also, it's scammy. Scammers regularly use AI to efficiently manage the scammy "relationships" they're pursuing. We're relentless about ejecting scammers from HUD App, and one of the fastest ways to get reported and banned is to attempt to use AI to fake your profile and personality. Really, is it worth it? All those potential connections gone - forever.
People want connection, not copywriting. Real intimacy starts with honesty, even in tiny ways. Even in your bio!
So if your profile starts with “I’m just a golden retriever boyfriend looking for my emotionally intelligent cat wife” and you didn’t write that? You’re not just using a cliché. You’re using someone else’s voice, and hoping they won’t notice. Trust us, they will.
If this all sounds a little familiar, that’s because it is. We’ve been here before, long before ChatGPT. Think Cyrano de Bergerac, the 19th-century French play where a man with a way with words ghostwrites love letters for a much hotter but less eloquent friend (did you read this in 10th grade English like I did?). The woman falls in love with the poetry, not realising it isn’t coming from the man she’s actually dating. It’s romantic, tragic, and (spoiler alert) it doesn’t end well. Why? Because emotional authenticity matters. Because people want to be seen, not sold to. And because pretending to be someone you’re not, even with the best intentions, is still deception.
You don’t need to be poetic. You just need to be real. Say something simple. Say something weird. Say something that actually sounds like you!
You’re not a brand. You don’t need a tagline. You’re a person looking for a moment of connection, and the best way to find that is by showing up as yourself, even if you’re awkward, chaotic, or still figuring it out (or all of the above).
Because the bots don’t know how you hold your coffee cup with both hands in the morning, or how much you overuse punctuation because you can’t stand to send a text without commas in the correct place, even if it does make you seem a bit too formal. They don’t know that your comfort movie is Paddington 2 or that you love coriander or that you still use the shampoo you liked when you were a kid because it reminds you of a time when you didn't have to pay for your own groceries.
You do. And that’s what makes you dateable and get-to-knowable. So stop using AI and pretending it’s original. It’s not, but you are!
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